August 10 & 12

August 10
You might think that with the garage closed and us employees now parking at MGM, there would be fewer outside officers needed, but actually, we need more than ever. 

First, valet is now parking cars on level four of the New York, New York garage, which requires an officer to guard the entrance because we can’t have civilians finding their way in there. 

Also, the gate between Monte Carlo and New York, New York has to be manned to prevent guests and limos and taxis from using it because the gate is reserved exclusively for Monte Carlo valets. 

Eddie – 1 is still manned, more out of habit than anything, because it is now guest parking, and the entrance to the short term lot now requires an officer.

Plus, we have to crap two officers every shift to patrol the employee parking areas at MGM and an officer is required to be at what we call the four-way, where the valet exit drop off and pick up area intersects with North Drive. This is to make sure no one goes into the back area, what used to be valet pick up, because valet is still parking some cars back there and there is really no reason for guests or cabbies to be back there. 

Parking at MGM is proving to be no big deal. Monte Carlo employee parking is on the top two levels and the first day I couldn’t find my car and Radtke had to drive me around till I found it, so now I park on level three near a stairwell that lets out right at the pickup point. The wait for a shuttle usually isn’t very long and when you consider we would whine if we were provided complimentary limo service, it’s working out pretty good. 

I had a pretty good line today on the shuttle after work. Schempp was on board and we’re in that two-week period where Schempp defers to the heat and wears shorts. Schempp needs a tan, and pretty bad too, and as I got on I go “Christ, Schempp, you ever hear of a tanning booth?” which is a pretty good line, but not a great one, and, in this case, merely softened everyone up for the hammer I was about to drop. I go and sit a couple of rows behind Schempp.

“Hell, Schempp, you got a ski report for those legs?” a really funny line that went over everybody’s head but Brandon. 

This is reminiscent of Responsible Gaming Week last year, which I noted ran only Monday through Friday “ending just in time for the weekend” which also went over everybody’s head. They’ll regret not laughing when I’m dead.

August 12
Here was your Outside lineup for last night:

Mary 1 – Guy
Mary 2 – moi
Baker 1 – Jo(s)e 

Even though there were OT units at MGM, we were really short-handed. The three of us rotated in the New York, New York garage and at the four-way and short term and the New York, New York gate both were unmanned and had something gone down, we would’ve been up a creek. 

 Princess Emma joined me for lunch. I had been hoping to finagle some time with Naomi should she have come in before she started work, but Princess Emma got there first. I asked to what I owed this pleasure and she said something to the effect that I happened to be in favor today.

So I had a cute, charming companion for 482. Of the funny, pretty young Mexican women I know, Princess Emma is the best all-round conversation. She is thoughtful and funny and I am 0 for 2 asking her out and I was close to trying for 0 for 3 when some dufus I don’t know but she knows came and sat with us! What an idiot! Doesn’t he know when a cute guy is talking with a cute girl you assume he’s working it and you LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE!

(Princess Emma, by the way, is working valet now, having transferred from the cashier’s cage. She’s doing great, too, having already racked up more Suspension Days (3) than Wrecked Cars (2).)

Right before 482, I was on patrol in the guest lot when I notice a Ford Expedition illegally parked. I go and inspect and the engine is running and the windows are tinted but I do notice a human form in the back seat. It takes a couple of seconds to get his attention because he appeared to be receiving the act of fellatio. Confirmation seemed to come – so to speak – when a female head pops up and the guy starts pulling his pants up. I felt bad, of course, though probably not as bad as he did, and told them to move on. 

August 4 & 5
August 16
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