Last night I was sitting in PBX with my angels Angelica and Maria when Angelica asks why are guys such slobs? Maria is on the phone, probably with her boyfriend, judging by how curious she seemed to be about my answer.
She should be. I am not all that neat and am a leading authority on this matter. I told them there is a bird called the prothonotary warbler, the male gender of which (and I assume there are other birds with this trait) makes several unused nests, requiring the female to show up and make a real nest.
I told her bachelors were like the prothonotary warbler, that a messy bachelor pad was really a shout out for a woman to come and make a home. Angelica was skeptical, but she’s only 20 and not completely of the world yet.
Tonight I was able to offer more or less conclusive proof of my prothonotary warbler theory. I am at the New York, New York gate around midnight when Judy – in her role as Mary 1 – comes by to chat. We BS for a bit before I take the opportunity to steal the Mary – 1 chariot and go to the can. Afterward, I stop at Eddie – 2 to chat with Rich for a while and all in all I’m gone a little more than ten, maybe fifteen, minutes.
I get back to the shack and holy living fuck, Judy’s done a complete makeover! Not only has it been tidied up, but she’s sprayed down and cleaned the walls and counter and there’s even a pot of coffee brewing! Jesus H., I’m thinking, no wonder her husband married her.
I related this story to the girls but neither was completely convinced. They maintain we’re just too lazy to clean up after ourselves, a charge I am really in no position to deny.
Judy’s pretty handy, too. There are several portable generators at MCSD, including two at the New York, New York gate and for some reason, we were running them and burning all the fuel. One is running and providing power for the shack when I get out there, but fuel is running low and I will be responsible for securing the first generator, starting up the second, and transferring the power cable.
Needless to say, I don’t have these skills and can’t perform any of these tasks. I tell Judy this and it’s plain she doesn’t consider this to be a bulletin, although I did come up with the brilliant idea of running both generators simultaneously. Judy stepped in and took care of everything else.