September 6

September 6
There were two funny instances last night. The first ended up being called the funniest line ever in briefing by Special Ed, a line I had the honor of delivering.

The past few days in briefing 88TonyB has been mentioning the importance of proper radio traffic and how the graveyard crew hasn’t really been utilizing it. He gave a specific example – and there have been several of these recently – of officers not relaying sufficient or accurate information to dispatch when dealing with guests.

For example, when dealing with a guest who is, say, drunk, it is good to get their name and determine if they are a guest of the hotel and if so what room they are in and if they are the registered guest to the room. If they’re not the registered guest, we are to get the name of the registered guest they are staying with. This is important because if you are acting up whether or not you are a guest of the hotel determines whether we ask you to leave or tell you to go upstairs and sleep it off.

Lately, though, officers in this situation have ended up having to be asked by dispatch for this information, when it should be gathered by the responding officer as a matter of course. At times it resembled a dentist pulling teeth and was tedious to listen to.

Matters have improved the past few nights, however, and 88TonyB has been pleased.

“Guys, it’s been pretty good lately,” he said. “Let’s keep it up.”

There was a pause as we all mentally patted ourselves on the back.

“So it’s still in effect?” I asked, as if I was inquiring about a matter of grave importance.

It took a second, but everyone started laughing pretty hard. 88TonyB looks at me like the parent of a particularly dumb kid and says “Uh, yeah, Gaylon, it’s still in effect. Let’s keep the good radio traffic up.”

I gotta be honest; I didn’t think it was all that great a line. Sure, it was a good line, the kind of smart-ass comment that has made me such a valued member of the MCSD graveyard crew. But the funniest briefing line ever? A line that had the whole room cracking up? That was straight out of left field. In fact, I thought my line about how Responsible Gaming Week ended on a Friday – just in time for the weekend! – was ten times funnier.

Then in the middle of the shift there was a funny instance involving two outside units, Redneck Randy and Judy.

Judy is usually Mary 1, but Sunday nights she works in the hotel and evidently last Sunday she saw something odd in the hotel, a mist or a fog or something of that nature.

I’m manning the podium and D-Dawg is standing there killing time when 88TonyB gets on the horn and asks Judy to go to 2, which is the second security radio channel.

In keeping with unofficial MCSD policy, D-Dawg and I also turn to channel 2 to eavesdrop. Half the crew probably did, too. It’s a time-honored tradition.

– Judy, tell me again what happened with your close encounter of the third kind?

Judy is suspicious about relating the story over the radio because she knows everyone is listening. Still, though, she tells Tony about the mist/fog she saw and asks why he wants to know and Tony says he’ll tell her later. Redneck Randy says something unimportant to let everyone know he listened in and Judy makes a pointed remark that she was the one asked to go to channel 2 and everyone else should butt out.

Then a minute later:

– Eight-eight, Mary 1, go to 2.
– Copy. That means only me, people.

So, naturally, we all tune in; Redneck Randy is waiting.

– Boooo-oooooo-oooooo-oooooh.

Judy ignored that, and D-Dawg and I were laughing so hard we missed the rest of the conversation.

September 2 & 3
September 9
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