The Diary of a Nobody/May 5

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, May 5
Mark was a complete maniac with his cash drawer spreadsheets (CDSS) tonight…For the right drawer – Sparrow’s home drawer and the one counted first – he kicked it old school and patriotic, signing his name in red ink and using blue to highlight the day, date, amounts and the slash thru his name. 

For the left drawer, he retained the blue highlighter but signed his name in green ink!!!…I am not making that up…Some investigation showed neither green nor red pens at the front desk, so evidently, Mark went and sought these out and took the time to return them…He gets more out of hand every week. 

I enjoy serving guests, of course, but for some reason, I dislike it when they show up right as the shift starts…I like to settle in before being bothered…Get the emergency reports generated and the drawers counted and some coffee in me…Tonight as Mark and I are standing there chatting about this and that a car drives up…Crap, and Mark notes there are a couple of arrivals remaining, both under the same name…Double crap…But the Front Desk Gods have my back as it’s just the pizza delivery guy plying his trade. 

Then Mark leaves and two minutes later a guy pulling a suitcase comes in…This time I’m certain I’m in for it – we have arrivals and this guy has a suitcase – but yours truly catches another break when the guy announces the shuttle from the big city airport had just dropped him off and could he wait for his ride???…Of course, he could, and relieved from having to be of service I was gracious and offered him some coffee, which he accepted. 

There was a pretty funny instance with Head Housekeeper Gloria today…She was in at her usual 0600 and got the Housekeeping Report I’d prepared out of the Housekeeping box, where I’d put it after preparing it, and reviews it before taking it to the front desk…Just for funsies I follow her and then she reviews both it and the logbook. 

– Hey, Sparrow…
– Yes, ma’am…
– On the sheet, you have 106 as both a late checkout and an after-audit check-in…

Her tone feigned accusation and I played along, standing a bit behind her, scratching my chin, as if reviewing evidence with her…It should be noted that it is entirely possible for a room to be both an after-audit check-in and have been extended the courtesy of a late departure; they’re hardly mutually exclusive…But: 

– You also have 217 as an after-audit check-in here in the logbook…
I lean over a bit, reviewing both the housekeeping report and the logbook before making a sound and looking at Gloria.
106 is actually code for 217…It’s something new we’re trying…To foil criminals. 

As it is, 217 was the after-audit check-in, of course, and Gloria makes a sound similar to that a wife would make when she doesn’t believe something her husband just told her.

– Look, Glowski, it’s all material for your book, Gloria: A Head Houskeeper’s Practical Guide To When Your Nite Auditor…
– Goes senile???
I gave the on-the-nose gesture, tapping my nose with a forefinger.
More or less…

Gloria putzes around the front desk for a bit and then informs me I get off in an hour and am I firm on clock-out procedures or should we review them, which was funny enuff for me to give her the finger, which made her laff, too. 

It was pretty steady at the veterans service office (VSO) today, tho despite the office being open ol’ Sparrow was obliged to schlep down to the parking lot to be of service to Shawn, the gent who called last week inquiring about VA adaptive housing grants and recall we made an appointment for 1000 today. 

The problem was he was unable to get from his truck into the county building so he could use the elevator because his mobility is limited because of a broken leg that hasn’t healed properly and his size, which is not small…So I went to say hi and not being able to get to the office wasn’t that big of a deal because I can fill out the forms with him on the phone. 

First I entered him into the system…I would’ve thought someone with his history would already’ve been in the system, but evidently, this was the first time he was served by someone connected with the state’s Department of Veterans Affairs…There were several forms to fill out after getting him in the system: the power of attorney form, the adaptive housing grant form, the claim form for the seven secondary and two new claims and a statement detailing exactly what he is filing for…These all should’ve been filed years ago – his VA doctor had instructed him to do so – but he hadn’t gotten around to it…In fact, filing for secondary claims was brought up by me; he hadn’t even thought of it. 

I don’t know about the grant…It’s the first one I’ve ever filed and while the form is one page and easy enuff, I don’t know what the requirements are…Perhaps is rating isn’t high enuff or maybe the fact his girlfriend owns their house and not him is disqualifying…We’ll find out, tho, because the form was filed today. 

Glen came by about 1430…There was a message from him and I’d called him back and he said he was moving back to town and needed housing assistance because a couple of things he’d had in the works “fell thru” as they often do with certain types…I told him the VSO had zero transitional housing options and referred him to VOA who it turns out he is already working with…We chatted – or, rather, ol’ Sparrow listened – for a bit and he said he might drop by later in the afternoon, making it sound as if he’d be doing me a favor. 

Glen yapped for a good half-hour…Thank god I was on the clock and showing a profit for the time…He said VOA had him in a hotel here and when he stopped to take a breath I asked if he had work and he said “that’s also in the works” not without some satisfaction and he seemed to enjoy, even at his age, having the basics of his life still under construction, perhaps because it puts off frightful decisions that might lead to permanency, which somewhat reminded me of my late brother, who never had a rent payment, credit or his own phone number. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: As usual, there is no sleep to report for Wednesday…God bless all of you. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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