The Diary of a Nobody/May 8

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, May 8
There was a funny line with/for Assistant Front Desk Manager Q tonite, a pretty good one that just might be a Line of the Year candidate…Q’s just back from vacation and like ol’ Sparrow he had put on weight and, also like ol’ Sparrow, was determined to take measures and it should be noted Q has many more measures to take in this regard than yours truly has…Regular readers of this crap also may – or they may not – recall Q does not drive, so he takes taxis home from time to time.

So when he announced he had resumed his long-dormant gym membership, adding it was super-convenient because the gym is located just down the very steep hill from his apartment, ol’ Sparrow was ready.

First, the classic Sparrow pause (CSP), then the dagger:

So, will you be taking a taxi to the gym???

Yeah, I know, a good line, tho Q only issued a courtesy laff, making it plain he doesn’t think it’s a Line of the Year candidate, but he’s been known to take a taxi instead of the bus home to avoid the hill, so he’d left himself open to it.

Everything was a mess when I reported for duty, too…The right station, where I work, had a coffee cup underneath it, which I threw away, and the left station had a mask, a water bottle and the day’s newspaper…Since I don’t use the left station, I left it…The desk in the back office had crumbs and a jar of pizza spice.

The biggest sin tho were the dishes in the back office, the remnants of employee meals, needing to be taken back to the restaurant…There was food on most of them and that was stinking the back office up and while I usually leave the dishes because I am a nite auditor and not a butler, I’m entitled to an odor-free workplace even if I’m obliged to take the dishes back myself.

The big news is there is a new offering in at the sundry stand…I am not making that up…It’s an ice cream treat, the original Klondike bar, and to make room for it a row of Oreo Klondikes were eliminated…So now on the middle row, left to right, there’s  Choco-Tacos, those Reese’s sandwich deals, Oreo Klondikes and the original Klondikes…Individual Ice cream remains above and pizza remains below.

The big news a couple of small town landmarks are for sale.

First are the two plots on Main Street next to the new weed shop going up which, of course, is next to The Shire…It includes a plot that is currently vacant and the one next to it has the windmill building, which used to be a diner but was remodeled over the past couple of years into a house, tho it retains commercial zoning, in case you want to turn your house into a coffee shop…613K for both plots.

Also for sale is the gym ol’ Sparrow used to workout at…Ryan is selling it after owning it for a few years…Recall the gym shut down due to COVID and then Ryan sold all the equipment to the small town for the new community center at the old high school…The building used to be the Knights of Columbus building and then the Masonic lodge and some research shows Ryan bought it from the Masons in 2013 for 55K and it’s listed for 299K.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0900 Saturday until 2030 Saturday…11.5 hours for the day and a splendid 51.0 hours for the week.

Ol’ Sparrow simply could not be stopped today…At 1530 there was a bathroom break and I considered getting up then – 6.0 hours isn’t too bad, after all – but eff that noise as we used to say in the Navy and at 1830 I woke when a dream ended and BOOM there it was, another patented Sparrow roll-over (SRO) and the next thing anyone knows it’s 2030 and time to wake up.

Of course, there won’t be any sleep Sunday which will get next week’s sleep week off to a lousy start, but that’s a problem, probably perceived, for another day…As we’ve noted here before, you take your sleep when you can get it when you keep odd hours.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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