April 1

April 1
Clocks go forward tonight, so we catch a break, only having to look busy for seven hours instead of eight, though Monte Carlo graciously forks over for eight hours of labor. Some places in town don’t, only paying you for the seven hours you actually work. 

 As usual – and this is almost interesting – we are on two sets of time because while the guests change their clocks back at 0200, the casino, and therefore MCSD, won’t spring forward until 0430, when it will become 0530. This has something to do with the casino’s accounting day, I think, or maybe the breakfast schedule in the EDR. No one is entirely sure. 

Key, of course, will be OMP’s final 10-10. Henry 1 traditionally goes at 0515, but since there isn’t going to be a 0515 who knows what the hell is going to happen, although you can rest assured OMP, and the rest of your hardworking Henry units, will get their final 10-10’s. You don’t need to worry about that. 

Here was your Henry lineup for last night: 

Henry 1 – OMP
Henry 2 – moi
Henry 3 – X-Ray

It’s been fairly routine in the hotel the past three nights, though Thursday we did have to throw out some geniuses throwing bottles out of a room on 29.

I was in the EDR getting ready to start my final 10-10 when this went down and since dispatch hadn’t actually sent me on my final 10-10 yet – I had snuck down to get an early start – I was obliged to respond, especially since it was on my floor. 

Redneck Randy, on patrol outside, had reported the window open and we get there and there are three guys and a girl in the room and the guys are standing in front of the window drinking Bud Light. Redneck Randy gets on the horn and asks what kind of beer they happen to be drinking and I say Bud Light and he says we have our first clue because those are the bottles that happened to have been thrown out. 

Armed with this knowledge, X-Ray and I confront the suspects.

“Well, men,” I say, hitching up my pants. “We have Bud Light bottles landing on the ground outside. We have an open window from the specific direction they came from. We have a case of Bud Light, in bottles, right here…”

Denials were issued immediately. They were blaming it on some guy they met on the Strip, but who, mysteriously, had vanished from the room. 

“Well, then, I invite you to tell us what conclusions you yourselves would draw from this evidence.”

Just then 77Dwayne arrives. The verbal denial is still the cornerstone of their defense and, initially, 77Dwayne gives the impression he was going to try and appease everybody. He was being very chummy with them but ultimately he lays the hammer down, telling them “here’s what’s going to happen, you’re all going to pack up your stuff and leave” which ruled because we do not need idiots throwing bottles out from the 29th floor. 77Dwayne takes a beating in this diary at times, but he’s a good manager when he’s not screwing around with the Henry Unit’s schedule and he took charge nicely here.

Graveyard welcomed another homo recently. His name is Doug and Spike reports he has spent most of his time trying to have “gay moments” with her out at Eddie – 2. Rich nicknamed him Tinker Bell, but that’s too obvious in my book, and I threw Her Majesty out there, but nothing really has caught on yet. 

There has been a change to how outside and hotel units conduct their night’s work. We still have scanners, but recently we were absolved from having to keep written logs. Instead, we were issued a wallet-sized deal that has a dozen scan points on them (about the size of a nickel and resembling a watch battery), each representing a duty we would be called upon to perform, such as Noise Complaint, Welfare Check, 482, paperwork and whatnot. There’s even one for going to the can. When you go to a call you click the appropriate button and when you’re done you hit the 10-8 button. While historians may well regret the loss of written source materials, the International Henry Units fully support this measure. 

And if you are in the mood to sit for a while, as I frequently am, you can turn this into an advantage. For example, Thursday I sat in the 32nd-floor maid’s room for almost two hours. I got there about 0045, 15 minutes before 482, fresh from doing tower checks. I sat down and put my feet up. 

At 0055 I was cleared for 482 and at 0100 I reported I was starting 482 and hit the appropriate button. Since I had eaten on my first 10-10 and was tired anyway, I was in no mood to move, so I stayed in the maid’s room. 

Promptly at 0145 I announced I was done with 482 and hit the appropriate button. I had now been sitting for an hour, itself an impressive figure. At 0200 I actually got up to hit the scan point in the 32nd-floor maid’s room and at 0215 I hit the going to the can button and ten minutes later I hit the all-clear button. I then left the 32nd-floor maid’s room for the first in 1 hour and 45 minutes. 

You can make the system work for you if you know what you’re doing. 

Here is your Henry lineup for tonight:

Henry 1 – OMP
Henry 2 – moi
Henry 3 – White Sox Metzger

March 29
April 2 & 6
Table of Contents