So I’m standing outside a room at about midnight. OMP and I had been sent there on a noise complaint when OMP gets on the horn:
– Henry 1, starting 10-10.
Now, Henry unit dedication to their treasured 10-10’s is well known. But to completely blow a call off for one is unprecedented, even for OMP.
– Henry 2, Henry 1, does that mean you’re not coming to our noise complaint?
I tried to sound hurt, like I’d been stood up.
Junior spared OMP the humiliation of answering by making some comment and sending White Sox Metzger to assist.
Later, White Sox Metzger actually took an elevator down two floors. I am not making that up. It was 0615. Scanners had already been taken down and I had just been to the EDR for a cup of to-go coffee to be enjoyed at leisure in the 12th-floor maid’s room before quitting time. We had just finished working a welfare check in the 200 wing of 14 and we were heading down the hall. My plan was to take the stairs down to 12, but White Sox Metzger veered off into the 14th-floor maid’s room to take the elevator!
Who the hell but cripples take elevators down two stories? Gee whiz, even at my fattest I wouldn’t do that. I’m going to have to talk with 77Dwayne about the Henry 3 slot on Saturdays.
The good news about the EDR remodeling is they didn’t put in one of those deals where you have to swipe your employee badge to get in, which would limit us to one visit a day. Rumor has it that Monte Carlo is the only casino in town that doesn’t make its employees do this, which we appreciate cause it contributes to a nice atmosphere.
Here was your Henry lineup for last night:
Henry 1 – moi
Henry 2 – Lee
Henry 3 – X-Ray
Set a personal record last night:
Fewest Calls, One Shift: 1
The old record was two, done on three occasions. The historic call came about 0300 or so, a noise complaint on 23, and, inevitably, I was sitting in a maid’s room with my feet up. I get there and listen and don’t hear anything and since something is going down in the casino I go to channel 2 and tell Junior everything is code four while wondering where X-Ray was. We always back up each other on calls like this.
I switch back to the main channel and there’s X-Ray reporting everything is all quiet on 21. So one of us went to the wrong floor. We’re still not entirely sure which one, and, since both floors were code four, there’s no sense worrying about it.
That was it. I did go to one of Lee’s calls just for funsies. I was on my way to 482 when Lee catches a squeal for a noise complaint on 16.
482 can wait, of course. X-Ray will be there, but I had not yet had a call of my own and I’m near the elevators and I end up being the first one on the floor. Right as I turn down the hall – and this was pretty funny – the door to the stairwell opens and Lee enters and right after that X-Ray, who had taken the maid’s elevators, comes bursting through the maid’s room door. If you listen closely you can hear Eye of the Tiger playing in the background.
It’s Lee’s squeal so we let him make the decision. He chooses to lay back and let X-Ray and I handle it.
“You guys take it; I’ll wait right here,” Lee said, lounging against a wall, no doubt conserving his energy for when we have to break the door down.
The TV is going pretty loud. No one answers X-Ray’s knock, so, as if my knocks have more authority, I try and also get no response. We look to Lee for guidance: he’s texting his girlfriend. Lee considers the matter for a few heart-stopping seconds.
“We’re going in,” he says.
Lee’s the type of leader who takes the point in these situations. He inserts his master key, opens the door, and makes entry. X-Ray follows and I got everyone’s back by making sure the can is code four.
Lee immediately finds the TV and turns the volume down. We look around the room for something interesting to look at – like thong panties or a camera so we can take our pictures of our cocks – find nothing, and exit the room.
Here is your Henry lineup for tonight:
Henry 1 – moi
Henry 2 – Lee
Henry 3 – X-Ray
Actually, that’s the way the schedule is going to end up. The schedule 77Dwayne put out has Lee and X-Ray switched but they will swap because we’re the International Henry Units and good luck trying to stop us.