January 14 & 15

January 14
Completely without authorization, Bi-Bob buffed my bald head. Briefing had just ended and we were heading out and I was at my locker getting something or another when Susan walked past, heading into the briefing room after her shift. Automatically I lowered my head so she could buff. As noted, she enjoys it immensely, especially when it’s fresh, and tonight she even used two hands. 

While she’s doing this Bi-Bob walks up behind me – not the best place for Bi-Bob to be – and ducks in a buff. He then giggled like a little girl. Fabulous.

X-Ray told a joke during 0600 debriefing in the 12th-floor maid’s room: 

“What did the tree say to the math teacher?”

Unfortunately, he didn’t remember the punch line, so I was left hanging. He said some guy at Caesars, where he works part-time doing slots, told it to him during one of those gay team building sessions some employers sentence their employees to. He says they have to do things like get twenty people in a circle and they are given three motions or sounds they can do – fun stuff like roaring like a lion or waving your arms like an idiot – and the group will do this until all twenty people are making the same sound or motion in unison! X-Ray said they had to do it about two dozen times before everyone did the same thing.

It was very busy last night and there was even more barf as someone ralphed on the 8th floor. X-Ray, remembering how I didn’t really like our previous barf episode, gave me all the gory details and laughed when I covered my ears and fled. 

Here is your Henry lineup for tonight:

Henry 1 – OMP
Henry 2 – moi
Henry 3 – Twerp

This is either Twerp’s last night or next to last night and 77Dwayne isn’t even going through the formality of assigning four Henry units and taking one away at the last minute. We are taking it in the shorts from the start. 

January 15
Here was your Henry lineup for last night: 

Henry 1 – OMP
Henry 2 – moi
Henry 3 – Twerp

Usually, busy Friday nights are followed by slow Saturdays, but not last night. I had barely got a foot up on a desk when I was bothered. In fact, it took an hour to get one floor in and I barely managed to get one round in. 

About 0130 Twerp and I were dispatched to a room whose occupants were suspected of smoking weed. We were greeted by a couple in their upper 40’s. We could see the guy lying on the bed under the covers and the lady was wearing a nightshirt and her hair indicated some recent time had been spent on her back.

Swing shift would’ve had these reprobates on their ear quicker than you can say “welfare check”, but, again, we’re pretty mellow here on graveyard, probably because of all the secondhand pot smoke we breathe. I asked if we could come in and she said sure and I said, almost apologetically, look, we’ve had some complaints about people smoking grass in this room.

The lady nodded vigorously, like someone who had gotten caught and was merely waiting to see what the penance was going to be. We both knew they were in as much trouble as I wanted to make for them. 

Which wasn’t much; I told them Twerp and I wanted them to enjoy their stay at Monte Carlo, but it was important to Twerp and I that their neighbors enjoy their stay too, and, she nodded vigorously again and I said if we had to come back there were going to be problems. She was visibly relieved that she and her husband were not going to be thrown out on the street and her hometown newspaper notified, and said she understood completely. 

This was Twerp’s last night. He got a job doing security at the Nevada Test Site. The job pays $20 an hour, double what Monte Carlo security officers start at, for four 12-hour shifts a week. 

It’s a brutal schedule if you ask me. Hours are from 6 to 6 and since the test site is not located on The Strip workers are obliged to report at 0400 (or 1600) for company-provided transportation so Twerp will not get home till 2030 or so.

But the money is good, and, as he points out, it’s not any worse than what he’s doing now, working two 40-hour a week jobs, sometimes three shifts consecutively.

January 13
January 16 & 18
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