July 24 & 26

July 24
It was thought Ted might call off tonight, but he showed up and spent the night in the casino acting like he was bucking for Employee of the Month. 

Sometimes someone who is out of favor might slack a bit, but Ted did his floor duties in a timely and professional manner, his radio traffic was straight out of the communications manual and he even volunteered for porter in the cage. 

It was really slow outside. There used to be a time when weekend nights were hopping, but those times have passed. I had one call the whole night, towards the end of the shift when Bi-Bob was walking someone out the south fountain doors. I drive down South Drive and park against traffic to wait for the guy. When he doesn’t show up, though, I get out and find him at the top of the stairs having a lively, rather one-way conversation, with the south fountain. 

The guy is dirty and his clothes were new years ago and Rich joins me and it takes a few minutes but we get him down the stairs and then we are treated to a story about how his mommy is sending him a credit card which he is waiting to pick up at a bank and how he wants to play in the NFL this fall. 

“Really?” I say. I learned very early on in this job that sometimes if you join these idiots in their little cracker barrel they are easier to deal with. “I am too. Which team you going for?”


Rich laughs. 

“Bellagio?” I ask. 

“Yeah, I’m staying at Bellagio. 

“Well Bellagio is that way,” I say, pointing south, away from Bellagio, because south was the quickest way to get him off property and he no more knows where Bellagio is than where Jupiter is and eventually he leaves. 

July 26
Here was your Outside lineup for last night:

Mary 1 – Guy
Mary 2 – moi
Baker 1 – Redneck Randy

We were moderately hopping last night. The fun started with a rather odd request from 88TonyB about 0015

Eight-eight, Mary 1, Baker 1 and Mary 2, I need all of you to 10-19, one at a time. 

10-19, in this context, means return to the security office. (It is, by the by, a versatile code that could also refer to the office itself or it could mean you’re on the way to the office.) So we all muster at Eddie – 2 – the employee entrance – to see what the deal is and Redneck Randy volunteers to go first on the theory that if we’re going to be executed it’s best to get it out of the way and Guy guiltily wonders if we’re in trouble. 

I head back to the garage and a few minutes later were 499 for an asthmatic dealer. Guy announces he’ll head to the Boulevard to escort the ambulance up so I head to Eddie – 2 so I can escort them inside but when I see Guy still farting around in the short term lot I tell him I’ll take the Boulevard and I – and this completely ruled – sped down the wrong way on South Drive with the lights flashing, which completely rules. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned that.

While Guy and I are at Eddie – 2 protecting the ambulance from rioting guests, Redneck Randy returns and announces we’re not in trouble, that 88TonyB merely wants to clean our weapons and I volunteer to go next and head down. While I’m down there Redneck Randy responds to a call at valet where drivers have managed to bang not one, but two car doors. 

I am still not entirely sure how I ended up with the reports for these. I mean Redneck Randy was the responding officer and he collected 90 percent of the information. When I had finished in the office I had gone to see what assistance I could be to Redneck Randy, and I made copies of the valet tickets for him and some other minor tasks and in a move that was as masterful as it was full of redneck charm, Redneck Randy graciously allowed me to do the reports for him. 

It quieted down after that. I patrolled the garage until 482 at 0300 and then went to the CSO to do the reports, where I ran into Schempp, who was wrapping up the report of the asthmatic dealer, treating it as if he were writing it for the New England Journal of Medicine and not the Monte Carlo Security Department. I read it, at his request, and it was a very good report, but he was still working on it when I finished both my reports.

July 21 & 22
July 27
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