October 13
Got to debut the new MCSD outside shirt tonight.
It looks pretty good, although most of the guys are, of course, whining left and right about it. The top half and the sleeves are blue, and the lower half and the collar are black and there are reflectorized stripes on the sleeves and front separating the blue and the black.
The material could’ve been a little more 21st century, I think. It’s a cotton twill, but it’s not that heavy and – and this completely rules – there is a sweet mesh lining inside, which means you do not have to wear a t-shirt with it unless you want to.
Had a very funny time with Maria and Angelica in PBX. Angelica insisted we review my prothonotary warbler theory as to why men are slobs. (The dude prothonotary warbler makes several nests and waits for a chick warbler to come to make the real one.) Neither is buying into it yet, and while we’re discussing it a paper pumpkin hanging from the ceiling falls and hits me in the thigh (my feet were up on a desk, go figure) and this caused both Maria and Angelica to laugh uproariously and from there we logically segued into discussing sleeping habits, specifically the use of pillows and they both admitted to using several pillows to sleep with: a couple to scrunchel with and one or two between their legs and that got me going on how I’ve known women like that and they always take their half of the bed in the middle leaving yours truly with a sliver on one side of a bed that is otherwise the size of Rhode Island. I used a legal pad (symbolizing my sleeping area) and two tissues (summing up my pillow situation) for show and tell and that really had them going and there is not much that is better for the ego than making pretty young girls laugh.
And then after work I got off one of my funniest lines ever. It was so good it made Rich double over. We were walking in the basement on the way to the employee entrance to head for the shuttle and we were discussing a room service waiter named Ralph. Ralph is a very nice, quiet, gray-haired man who has a nice crush on a cocktail waitress named Michael, who’s really a chick despite having a guy name. Their lunch hours coincide and he walks her to the MGM garage every morning and Rich and I made some tasteless cracks about whether Ralph is under the impression he and Michael are dating and whether he had an umbrella for her cause it’s been raining the past couple of days (being a perfect gentleman, he did) when I said:
Ralph looks like the type whose social life went south with the advent of Caller ID.
This is not at all fair to Ralph – and probably even less true – but a good line is a good line and Rich laughed all the way up the stairs. Which he should have. It was a hell of a line.
October 11
October 14 & 15
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