April 21

April 21
I had forgotten how good the EDR is on swing shift. I went to work directly from umpiring a baseball game, used the showers in the changing room and had some time to kill so I went and ate. 

The EDR had two of my favorites, meatloaf and lamb. They were served at the correct temperature and were fresh and if they weren’t meatloaf and lamb of the year, they were still pretty darn good. The baked chicken was pretty good too, and they had thighs, my favorite. When I went back to the EDR four hours later, everything but the lamb was still there. 

It was very slow the past couple of nights, though the International Henry Units did respond to a complaint of too much banging on the wall. Lee and I were working a welfare check when X-Ray caught the squeal and, since these calls invariably mean the bed in the room next door is being used and not for a nap, Lee and I went to back X-Ray up. It’s the International Henry Unit way. 

So Lee and I turn down the hall and we see X-Ray, the consummate hotel professional, listening attentively. Lee and I get there, listen for a while, and come to the same conclusion X-Ray came to: that a woman is being pleasured.

But not all that well, though. It was our highly professional opinion that we’ve heard better. In fact, we weren’t even moved to trot out the old ‘what’s he using, a plunger?’ line, nor were we wondering if he had a howitzer for a cock. Hell, she wasn’t even taking the Lord’s name in vain or imploring her ‘man’ to fuck her harder. 

We were going to let it go, actually, but then Junior got on the horn and said the neighbor had called the front desk to complain and the manager wanted us to make contact so X-Ray knocks and the guy, wearing only a smile, came to the door and is not altogether pleased with us. We wanted to push him out of the way and show him how an International Henry Unit pleases a woman – ours, yours, it doesn’t matter – but that isn’t a core value yet.

There was an arrest in the casino when Bi-Bob hooked somebody up for refusing to pay his bill at the café. You could hear the guy ranting in the background when Bi-Bob was on the radio, yelling things like “Call the cops, I don’t care!” and other useful things. 

A waiter and I were talking about this afterward and he said if the guy had gone up to the cashier and said, contritely, look, I’m broke and needed to eat and can’t pay my bill, it was entirely possible the staff would’ve chipped in for his meal or the manager would’ve comped him. Sure, he would’ve been trespassed and told he’d be arrested if he came back, but humility goes a long way and he would not have been arrested. 

Here is your Henry lineup for tonight:

Henry 1 – OMP
Henry 2 – moi
Henry 3 – X-Ray

April 17
April 22
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