December 9

December 9
After a tough noise complaint, Lee and I retired to the nearby 24th-floor maid’s room to unwind. Lee has the latest issue of Maxim magazine with him and we took a quiz designed to tell us how much of a man we are. There were 50 questions and your score was based on how many you answered yes. 1-17 and you were Charles effing Bronson, 18-35 and you were Tom Hanks and anything over 35 and you were Doug Christie, whoever the hell that is. Neither Lee nor I had a clue, which probably means we’re pretty manly to begin with. 

We both got 14, so we’re both real men, goddammit, at least according to Maxim magazine, which should know because they always have babes on their covers. We shared yes answers on ten questions, and we both answered yes to four on our own. We were pleased with our score because it fell squarely in the Charles Bronson range, but it was close enough to the Tom Hanks demarcation to show we’re not complete lug wrenches, either. 

The big news is I am finally going to get armed. MCSD is getting new guns. The old ones, which are still used by outside units, are some sort of revolver and the new ones are semi-autos or Uzis or something like that. I don’t really know that much about guns, but I’m going to be packing one anyway. I don’t own one and haven’t fired one since serving on the USS Blueback (SS-581 DBF) ages ago. Outside units will still be the only ones that are armed, but my periodic Mary unit appearances appear to be enough to be put on the qualification list. 

Fittingly, here is your Mary lineup for tonight:

Mary 1 – Ted
Mary 2 – moi

I think this might be permanent. Friday night Mary 2 is D-Dawg’s old slot. Schempp filled the slot last night, but Schempp and Ted do not get along and with Guy in the brewery and Judy and Redneck Randy on their weekends, I am the only other Mary unit available. 

The EDR was outstanding again last night. They had leftovers of that chicken dish I enjoyed so much and they also had – and I am not making this up – bacon-wrapped scallops. Evidently, some banquet didn’t have as many attendees as they had thought because that is the only time we eat that well in the EDR. 

December 7 & 8
December 10
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