June 23

June 23
I’ve been saying “Bring it” a lot in dispatch the past couple of nights. 

– Baker 1, control.
– Bring it! Baker 1.

It sounds cool, or I think it sounds cool, and it was stolen from a really foxy bartender at a dive called the Twisted Kilt. I found myself there Monday night with my buddy Jim, after we had umpired some American Legion baseball together. 

We get there and we’re having a couple of cold ones while waiting for dinner to arrive and Jim and Brianna were talking about her new car, a BMW or maybe it was a Mercedes, I forget. After a couple of minutes, I clear my throat, raise an index finger and mention that I, too, had recently purchased a new car. 

“Get out!” Brianna said.

I shook my head dismissively. 

“True story, gorgeous. I got myself a Hyundai Sonata.”

Brianna looks at Jim for confirmation; he laughs and nods his head. 

“You are a hot piece of ass. You get laid with that machine, don’t you?”

Jim and I were laughing pretty hard now. I shrugged as if it was common knowledge I was a hot piece of ass, especially with my new Sonata, and got laid as a matter of course. 

“You know what else?” I asked.

“Bring it!” Brianna commanded.

“I furnished my bachelor pad for less than a hundred bucks. Well, not the bed. But the bed frame, kitchen table, chairs, couch, the whole nine yards.”

So ‘bring it’ has found its way into my own personal lexicon the past couple of nights. 

Stalking was a complete fiasco. I was in the EDR and Lisa completely ignored me and later I wandered in to prepare for Naomi’s arrival and sitting there is a drop-dead gorgeous cocktail waitress named Nicole. She’s not on the official stalking list because she is completely out of my league but for some reason, I get it in my head it would be a disaster for her to see me chatting with Naomi so I go and get some coffee, walk out like that was why I had gone to the EDR for in the first place, go to the can, pour the coffee out and head to the relative safety of PBX, where Maria is approaching the five-month anniversary with her boyfriend while Silvia, as usual, is starting out with this weeks boyfriend who, and she really means it this time, might really be it. 

Silvia asked who the new guy in dispatch was and when I told her Brandon was young, tall and handsome she perks up and curls some hair behind an ear. Editor’s Note: as of today’s posting, Silvia and Brandon are married with a couple of rugrats. Gaylon was at their wedding and – despite his crush on Silvia – presented no objection when the preacher asked for objections to their union. 

June 21
July 1, 2 & 4
Table of Contents