May 25, 26 & 31

May 25
Visited my PBX angels, Silvia and Maria, for the first time in about three weeks today and there was a lot to catch up on. Maria and her boyfriend recently celebrated their four-month anniversary, while Silvia recently broke up with her latest Boyfriend of the Week, but she has feelers out on another guy who she swears just might be it. 

I am Charlie 7 again tonight. I have poker drop for the third night in a row (last night was with Rich, tonight is with Russ), which I think is a record.

I hate day shift. I sat in on their briefing today as I was preparing for my CPR update class and crap, they had twelve Charlie units, which we haven’t had in the memory of man. The briefing room was packed and I found myself shaking my head:  twelve Charlie units for a shift that does basically squat in the first place is obscene and they had so many that Graham, who was whining about having to be at work, was obliged and allowed to take an unpaid day off. 

May 26
A commercial for Lance Burton’s 10th anniversary was shot at Monte Carlo last night, mainly at the cage and the theater. I was manning the podium when they shot the cage footage, which involved Guy and Robert from swing shift pushing a safe out of the cage and then turning right. A complete ham, Guy made it seem like he was carrying the casket of the Unknown Soldier. When you see the commercial Guy is the one on the left, with the red hair that looks like it never moves. I was responsible for pushing the button that opened the door to the cage. I missed my cue once, but what the hell, I’m a security officer not an actor and you can’t get too worked up when an amateur misses his cue. 

Here is your Outside lineup for tonight:

Mary 1 – Ted
Mary 2 – moi
Baker 1 – Jo(s)e
Baker 2 – Schempp

Outside is a complete fiasco. South drive is ripped to shreds and they are messing around outside the garage in preparation for it being torn down over the summer. 

May 31
Here is your Outside lineup for tonight:

Mary 1 – Redneck Randy
Mary 2 – Ted
Baker 1 – Jo(s)e
Baker 2 – moi

Why I am a Baker – 2 is beyond me. I am not a qualified bike officer, have ridden a bike that actually moves exactly once in 20 years, and I am not about to start now. 

At least Schempp is on his weekend. Good gravy, he yapped all night last night. He had me cornered in the garage and was yapping about Corvettes because he had seen a couple in the garage and he had seen something on TV about them recently, which he interpreted to mean I was interested in Corvettes, a topic which, hilariously, actually interests me about as much as the FOX prime time lineup. 

It almost cost him his life, too, because he interrupted two in a row from .38 Special on 97.1 The Point. I really like .38 Special, and you don’t get two in a row from them on the radio all that often, but I was cornered and there wasn’t much I could do. 

We are going to be even more shorthanded here in a while, too. Gorgeous George starts the corrections academy June 19 and White Sox Metzger reported he has some feelers out and a couple of others are looking, too. And it isn’t as if we are fully staffed right now. We still only have eight Charlie units most nights and the International Henry Units have given up all hope of ever having four in the hotel again.

May 10, 11 & 24
June 1
Table of Contents