October 18

October 18
The rapper 50 Cent will be at Monte Carlo this weekend. We weren’t told why, whether this was a private visit or some sort of record company promo or what, so the rumor mill is churning pretty fast. The best one is he is having a private, invitation-only drive-by in our east ballrooms and is hosting a DJ competition in the brewery.

Nobody is really looking forward to this. And since we haven’t been told a thing outside of the fact he and his posse are invading, we are all assuming the worst.

Pulled some OT last night. Triumphant off of my debut as Mary 1, I signed up to be Mary 3 for OT, which pissed Guy and Redneck Randy off because Special Ed was also pulling some Mary unit OT and they were relegated to the casino.

This led to some modest hilarity.

Guy, who was Charlie 8, Schempp, who was Charlie 10, and myself were taking 482 together and we were about 15 minutes into it when Guy leaves to go grab five or six smokes before heading back to work. As he’s leaving the EDR he gets on the radio and announces to dispatch that Schempp and I are done with our 482’s even though we both had a half-hour left.

– Charlie 8, control, Mary 3 and Charlie 10 are both clear 482. 

That was pretty funny. When I got done laughing I hopped on the radio, because Guy was out of earshot now:

– Why don’t you get ready for porter in the cage?

Porter in the cage is a particularly dreary floor duty done by a casino unit around 0615. It consists of escorting a porter into the cage to clean it. And you can’t just let him in and go sit in the cage break room, either, you’ve got to pretty much stay right on him the whole time because in the very rare instance you get a porter who thinks it would be a good idea to steal something you will get just as fired as he does.

That line made Schempp laugh pretty hard.

Later, as I was heading back to my truck after 482, I passed both Guy and Redneck Randy standing at Eddie – 2.

“Don’t you two have fills to do or something?” I asked, waving at them as I walked past. Guy told me to fuck off, and Redneck Randy gave me the finger.

I was able to rub it in one last time in the briefing room after shift. I patted both of them on the back and announced “Brilliant job today, men. Truly an inspiration; you Charlie units are the backbone of the department. Us outside units thank you.”

There has been a lot of OT floating around lately. This is a pretty high turnover job and there is usually a steady flow of new people but MCSD stopped hiring people a while back, so there are a lot of open slots and tonight I get the broom handle because it would normally be my night to fuck off at Eddie – 1 but that was given to an OT unit from dayshift.

I also had women problems last night! As I approached the employee entrance to report for duty there were three female Monte Carlo security officers standing outside enjoying the camaraderie attendant with three women enjoying a smoke.

Susan and Jackie, both from swing shift, were there, as was Butch, who was limbering up for her shift. The problem is all three greatly enjoy buffing my bald dome and all three were under the impression they were in favor enough to be the first to enjoy this pleasure.

I went to Susan first cause of the three she’s my favorite. Invariably pleasant and amiable, we worked together while I was training on swing shift my first couple of months here. She buffed, as she usually does, slowly and with long strokes and brother, did this piss Jackie off, who felt she was entitled to First Buff privileges. Before Susan was even done, Jackie jerked me towards her, inadvertently pulling me into her ample bosom, and started buffing with both hands. I felt like I was nursing. As has been noted Jackie goes 5-10, 290 and it’s not particularly difficult for her to jerk a man into her bosom.

Butch brought up the rear. She buffed rather slowly and followed it up by kissing the dome, which no doubt made the others jealous. I left them fighting over me.

October 14
October 19, 20, 21 & 22
Table of Contents